If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Life without a bra equals bliss.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
