hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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