Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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