just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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