That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
