He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
