my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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