He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
