i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
