True but thats because hes a fetus.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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