But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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