We won't sleep together?
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
