I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
