it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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