I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
