i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
