even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
