I think I am morally bankrupt
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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