tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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