It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
