I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
