3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
