I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Actions speak louder than pants.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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