I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize