Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
My nipple is on Facebook.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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