she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
