so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
