he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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