Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
