I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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