so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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