i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
