Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
