They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
