Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Randomize
