I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
