Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
