If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Randomize
