I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
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