I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
