I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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