we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
