this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I believe in your delicious
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Randomize
