My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
