I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
