How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I am midnight drunk by noon
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Randomize
