She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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