She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
where am i from again
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
