I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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