Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Randomize
