Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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